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BSF Senior Staff
Staff member
Premium User
Aug 19, 2023
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Abuja Nigeria
WHAT IS MARITAL PRESSURE?


Marital Pressure comes because a person isn't married at a specific time or season people or the persons themselves "FEEL" or "THINK" they should have been married.


SOURCES OF MARITAL PRESSURE​



1) Those who care about You. (Your Well Wishers)


Family


Friends


Mentors.


These people want you to be married.


They want the best for you or at least, they think they do.


They will constantly or randomly remind you of your Marital status.


Amongst these group of your well wishers


Some can be gentle about it.


While others can actually be annoying about it and even push you unit serious pressure and depression self even though "they mean well."


Your mother for example


Your Father


Your Aunties


Your Uncles


Your Pastors


Your cell Leader


Your Friends


Your Boss in the office


Your landlord.


SOURCES OF MARITAL PRESSURE​



2) Those who don't like you (your Haters)


Your married ex that is still angry with you


Your competition in the office or market


That your neighbor that doesn't like you


Etc.


These ones will go all out to mock you and remind you of your Marital status and pepper you especially when they themselves are married.


They will indirectly and directly say things to spite you and mock you.


SOURCES OF MARITAL PRESSURE​



3) OTHERS


Social Media


Posts about Marriage/Love etc


Your colleagues or relatives wedding IV card


A Love Song playing on the radio


A couple holding hands and walking past you in the street.


Weather for two


Random jokes and stories made by people without any intention to hurt or remind you of your status (though you end up being reminded)


Etc.


SOURCES OF MARITAL PRESSURE​



4) YOU YOURSELF


Sometimes, we put ourselves under pressure too when we begin to compare ourselves with others


When we fix a date for ourselves, assuming or telling ourselves that a particular age is the right age to be married (setting targets for ourselves) ..


For example a 23 year old girl can be under pressure to marry because she's told herself that she MUST bá married at 23.


CAUSES OF MARITAL PRESSURE​



1) AGE


Every Society has its own age standard it sets.


For example, in africa, we have an age bracket we have set for ourselves and that we consider a ripe age for marriage, and this is quite different in advanced countries of the world like the USA for example.


Sometimes,


We too set different age target for ourselves, and this affects when we feel pressured


For example, a 20 year old lady who desires to be married by 23 will feel pressured at 24 if she's not married


While a lady who is 30 won't feel pressured if she has set her own age (based on her own personal desire and reasons) target to be 35.


2) PEER PRESSURE


When all one's friends are married, this can put a person under pressure even at a younger age.


Imagine, a lady has 5 female friends, and they're now all married except her, even if she's 23, she can begin to feel pressured simply because she's the last one not married within her circle.


HOW DO WE MANAGE MARITAL PRESSURE?​



1) Get a Word for Yourself.


I believe we're believers here.


See, the word of God is a way of cancelling fear, anxiety, and pressure


Remember, Faith comes by hearing God's word.


And the opposite of Pressure (worry) is Faith.


A Person with Faith is relaxed


A Person who is full of faith can not be full of Pressure.


Once under Pressure


Locate a Word for yourself.


I once had a challenge when I wanted to get married


I was ready, but couldn't seem to see a lady to marry


Anyone I see, God will say No.


I became pressured..


It was God's word that helped me that period.


I was constantly under pressure


Till one day, while listening to a message, I got a word that ended the pressure


I'll share the scripture with you.


Matthew 6:27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubits unto his stature?


6:28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:


6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.


6:30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?


6 :30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?


This was the scripture for me.


Immediately I heard this

The Holy Spirit asked me


Is it a Wife I can not give you? Oh ye of little faith.


I felt ashamed


Because I had been showing little faith by allowing pressure get to me.


That was my deliverance.


From that day on


Any time I felt pressured, I'll remember that scripture, and immediately, the pressure will disappear.


For you


It could be another scripture


Or a word from God directly


Or a song


Or a Dream


Or an encounter.


For you


It could be another scripture


Or a word from God directly


Or a song


Or a Dream


Or an encounter.


Whatever it takes


Whatever it is


LOCATE A WORD.


2) PRAY


Any time you're under pressure, it's a sign that you are weak.


Any time pressure successfully gets to you, or she is your strength is diminished


Immediately rush to your secret place


You can enter your secret place while on the bus heading to work


You can enter your secret place while on social media


Your secret place is not a physical location, it is in your spirit, it is your heart.


You can just see a picture that reminds you that you're getting old and not yet married


And the pressure wants to come


Immediately, you just mutter in tongues in your heart.


Your mother can remind you your age, and the pressure wants to come, immediately in your heart you quote a scripture to still your heart.


Prayer Strengthens You when you're weak.


Jesus came to die in the Cross


Suddenly pressure began to get to him


He started to waver


What did he do.?


He went to Pray.


Luke 22:42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.


22:43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, STRENGTHENING him.


When you're down with pressure


Rise up in Prayer


And leave the rest to God.


Without Prayer


Marital pressure will make mess of You.


3) GET BUSY WITH YOUR LIFE.


Have you event gone to an office to see someone important


And they made you wait for long before you could see the person?


You would agree that such waiting is easy when you have something to keep you busy while you wait?


Maybe like watching TV at the reception while you wait


Pressing your phone


Reading a book?


And that such waiting can be quite a torture if you have nothing to do while you are made to wait?


Imagine waiting in a reception for 4 hours without anything to see, touch, read, listen to.


You'll be frustrated very soon as you wait.


It's the same thing with waiting for marriage to happen


If you are busy, the wait is easier to handle.. Than when you're idle.


While the MARITAL aspect is yet to kick off


Get busy fully on other aspects of your life.


SPIRITUAL


FINANCIAL


MENTAL.


Build your Life while you wait.


Don't wait without building your life. You'll get frustrated very quickly and enter depression and soon be ikẹ desperate to marry.


Make friends


Connect


Network.


Learn how to and Make Money


Build a Company


Become a brand.


Go for a degree, a Bsc, a Masters


Pursue a Career


Build yourself.


Mercy chinwo made it in life (in her ministry and career) first before she got married.


Don't pause your life because you're single.


4) SPEAK UP


Speak to whenever a person tries to put you under pressure


Tell them that they should be patient


That your time will come.


Tell them God's time is the best.


Don't keep quiet.


Speak to for yourself


You'll feel good after and you'll be glad you did.


"Mummy, don't worry, God will do it for Me, keep praying for me, I'll give you for grand children at God's time. I'm not playing after all.. The right man is coming"


You can never tell


Your PARTNER can meet you on your path to your PURPOSE.


6) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKE MINDED SINGLES


Have a support team.


7) FIGHT


Fight Depression


Fight Pressure


Fight Frustration.


No gree for pressure.


Pray


Fast


Find the word


Find a support Team


Don't allow pressure get to you.
 

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