QUESTION TO PASTOR:
TEENAGERS, MUST WE FALL IN LOVE WITH GUYS AT CHURCH OR CAN WE DATE OUTSIDERS?
Answer: Now, there is a similar question: “Are we allowed to fall in love at this age?” I did address these issues during the program that we had for the teenagers – the conference that we had. I dealt extensively on this, but I want to say a few things here. There are certain things that you are just not allowed to do at certain stages and at this stage of your life; even though you are capable of falling in love with someone, you are not allowed to. For example, you are capable of working, but you are not allowed to, for several reasons. You need to prepare for a better job, a better lifestyle, a better standard of life and so on with your education, and this is your time of preparation. So, you are not allowed to work as a minor.
Secondly, even though you have the physical ability, you don’t have the intellectual or the emotional maturity, which is yet to come. So, even though you have these physical abilities within you to fall in love or have this kind of fellowship or relationship with someone, you are still not allowed, because this is just not the time, as it is not time for you to take up a job because of your peculiar stage in life. It’s your time of preparation. So, you are not allowed to give up your education to go and take up some job. Now, there are those who would do it just as there are those who will get married at seventeen or at eighteen or at nineteen. So, there will always be some difference, but we are dealing with the generality of this period of your life. The peculiarity must be considered; that’s why.
So, when you feel that way, if you are attracted to some girl or some guy, what should you do? Well, discipline yourself! Just because you are attracted to someone doesn’t mean that you must go for it. For example, a guy is attracted to some money that he is seeing. The money is not a problem; his attraction is not a problem. There will be a problem if he yields to that attraction and goes to take that money that doesn’t belong to him. It’s called stealing, and you go to jail for it, not because something was wrong with the money, not because something was wrong with his desire to have the money but because it didn’t belong to him. So, he shouldn’t have stolen it.
He can’t say, “oh, I felt like stealing that money, and I went for it because I felt like it.” So, you don’t do something because you feel like it. At twelve or thirteen or fourteen, that you feel like driving a car doesn’t mean you get in and take the car. You probably haven’t learned to drive yet. So, there are so many things in your life you have to consider so you don’t yield to the pressures of your feelings.
These feelings only tell you that you are growing; these feelings only tell you that you are maturing, so you are only getting to realize them. They are only awakening in you because you’re developing now. You are growing gradually to become an adult, but you are not there yet, because you still require the other part of your maturity and stability in your mind.
Keep this as an important lesson for your life. Don’t yield to the pressure of your emotion; especially as a Christian, God has given you self-control, so you can’t say that, “oh I don’t know what to do.
I just really like this guy; I don’t know what to do. I think of him everywhere I go,” or “I think of her everywhere I go.” Hey, you are a Christian; every Christian has self-control, according to the Bible. I want to read that to you now. Galatians 5: 22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law” I want to read it to you from a newer version, and I want you to listen to this: “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit in us” [Galatians 5:22, The Living Bible] Even though it uses the Holy Spirit here, it says, for the Holy Spirit controls our lives.
He’s letting us know what the Holy Spirit gives when we become children of God and then in our spirits we can have this kind of fruit. He says, “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control” Self control? that’s it! Then it says, “…and here there is no conflict…” Gentleness and then self control; these are already in your life as a child of God. The Christian life comes with it.
When you are born again, you are born with it, even if you don’t experiencing it. You know, somebody says, “oh, I have a lot of problems controlling my mind, controlling my thought, controlling this and controlling that;” you shouldn’t talk like that. If that has not been your experience, it doesn’t mean your experience should be in control. Now that the Holy Spirit has brought a new kind of life to you, you start saying, “I have self control; I can control my mind; I can control my thoughts; I can control my body.” This is what you should say. And, remember your mouth, your speech will dictate the circumstances of your life. If you say you have no control, you will lose control.
If you say you have control, you will experience a control. You have to say so, not because you are trying to get it but because the Holy Spirit has brought that to us in the life that we received from Christ; we already have it. So, “I have self control;” that’s what you say. I can control my thoughts; I can control my emotions; I have control; that’s what you say, and you will always be in control.