UNDERSTAND WHAT IS COURTSHIP
WHAT IS COURTSHIP?
Simply put, courtship is a period of time where two lovers having decided to marry, are working towards marriage. At this level, a proposal would have been made signalling engagement or commitment by both lovers. Of course, at this level, both families would have been informed too.HOW LONG SHOULD A COURTSHIP LAST?
There is actually no time frame with regards to the length of a courtship. However, a good courtship shouldn't be too short or too long. Relationship and marriage counselors, coaches and experts advocate a minimum of 6 months and a maximum of 2 years.However, not every courtship has really adhered to this recommendation because of the unreadiness of one party to tie the knot at a chosen date, financial reasons, long distance relationships, academics, delay of parental consent, illness, etc.
Christian leaders strongly disapprove of very long courtships so as to curtail some temptations that come with very long wait.
WHAT IS THE TRUE PURPOSE OF COURTSHIP?
The real purpose of courtship is to get to know the person more and discuss and agree on all the salient issues that will help a marital experience.Examples of what to do/ what you discuss in courtship are:
1. Meet the family of your lover
2. Know where he lives
3. Know your jobs
4. Discuss your spiritual lives
5. Discuss your career plans and their demands
6. Discuss the number of children you would like to have
7. Discuss your finances
8. Discuss every other issue.
9. Discuss how to manage the extended family
10. Discuss educational pursuits and their demands
11. Discuss the type, size, place and funding of your wedding
12. Pray often together for yourselves and your future together.
N.B: At this level of relationship, if you still have some secrets that may affect your marriage in the future, reveal them. For instance, if you have a love child, lost your womb, have a serious medical condition, indebtedness, etc., reveal that to your partner. A true lover sent by God will never look down on you, mock you, insult you or dump you. Rather, that lover will be full of compassion, admiration and respect for you.